- They tell you how they intend to purchase something from you but haven’t a clue what it is or, who makes it?
- They specify that all drawings, weights, capacities and curves be done with imperial measurements but specify the pumps in liters/minute, pressures in Kilopascals gauge (kpag), metric millimeter flanges and motors in kilowatts.
- They want a commercial type pump but certified and performance tested to ANSI / API standards.
- They want a magnetically driven, vertical, tank top mounted process pump, which normally, WOULD’T HAVE A SEAL ANYWAY!
- They’ve done computer hydraulic simulations (with a pump they haven’t spec’d yet) and give you minus kpag as the suction pressure….WTF? Ever heard of NPSH’a (see #12).
- They need certified arrangement drawings for a pump which has been manufactured / assembled the same way for over 50 years.
- In a total of 587 frick’n pages of specifications, they forgot to tell you the voltages required for the motors.
- You know you’re in BIG trouble when the spec says they can cancel the contract, at any time, at their discretion without cost?
- The pumps have to export packaged to go from Mississauga to Brampton (so what countries are we talking ’bout here Willis?).
- They want storage instructions for up to 12 months from delivery yet their contract completion date is within 5 months. Might you get paid the same way?
- They need manuals printed on standard paper, put into a 3 ring binder which NO-ONE, EVER, EVER will read, knows how to…. or even cares to! (Funny….Adobe sounds so much like “a dope”).
- You discuss NPSH with them and it reminds you of the joke (N-o P-umps S-old H-ere). You tell it, and they don’t get it.
- The pump is in a harsh (chemical) environment. It’s to be titanium construction ($$$$$), magnetically driven ($$$$$) but you must put a lamicoid plastic tag on it because that will last forever. You got it, it’s the vertical pump they’re referring to in #4 above).
- Ah, and last but not least, the Friday afternoon brush-off………….
“Hey, I have a yellow pump needs replacing….ya got any………..
Nah, we only stock red ones”…..have a nice weekend.
I hope I hit at least one funnybone in all of you.